Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Trying to lose weight makes me hate myself..

Yes.. it's true.

Having jumped on the scale for the second week in the row and stayed the same, despite all my best efforts, I felt rubbish. I know all the things that should have been running through my mind..

A) Staying the same is better than gaining weight
B) I -did- eat out all week practically and eat whatever I wanted too.. bubble tea.. haagen dazs.. lots of starbucks..
C) I'm not fat why the preoccupation with losing weight..?!?

It just p*sses me off more.. It's taking over my life, I know it shouldn't.. I don't know how to stop though. It's depressing.. plus what with everything else that's gone on this week - family stress, Juneid's LMO not coming through - I don't have time to really focus on myself and thinking straight. I feel like I've done things the right way, working out.. I guess if I am truly honest with myself I could have spent my calories on healthier options, instead of eating a lot of sweet stuff.. proper real food? Maybe that's the way forward.. to eat homecooked non-processed junk, and see if it makes a difference. With the studying it's so tempting to snack though..

Anyway I don't really feel like writing more about this today.. I'm just going to post in a couple of days I guess. On a bit of a downer and don't want it to be contagious.. xx

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